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Sorrow & Glee

As i try to pull my thoughts into so sort of cohesiveness, i ponder life……Life is so precious, and should be so cherished, yet i watch as my friends, and i ,live each day as tho we have an unlimited supply of days, but we don’t each day, every moment, is one closer the last one for us.

In the last three weeks i have had 5 people i knew cross over from the living to the other side, All younger than me expect one. The first was Ceaser, he was my Friend from Mexico “or as my friends called him My Latin Lover” he was a kind, intelligent, thoughtful young man, then My friend Glenn was killed walking across the street, Michael did not show up for work and was found as tho he had gone to sleep, had a brain aneurysm and never woke up, Gaytrell a good friend of mine, was at a party, said he felt funny, passed out never to wake, another brain aneurysm, then after calibrating his birthday, another good friend Jason, Had a tragic accident and he left us. Rest in peace My Friends

I have said it for years “Friends are your most important asset…………………………” But we have so much to be thankful for, the very breath we take at this moment should be enough to to be glad of, but we take so much for granted.

Well i am going to make every effort to try and live my life fuller, better, with even more of a positive impact on those people around me.

As some of you know for the past 6 months or so i have been working on my Anger issues, mostly its harmless anger because i only seem to lose it in the car “you know road rage” o i would curse the other drivers or wish them harm, well my effort has been to not curse them but to bless them, uplift them, and i swear it is amazing, picture this some one cuts you off or pulls out in front of you and you have to swerve or break to avoid hitting them, knee jerk reaction has become to react to them in some negative way, now instead of getting angry i have started just the opposite, let me tell you the first few times i successfully was able to hold the anger back, it was like a hot rush ran over my entire body, leaving a warm numb felling, it was great. You also start to realize the damage that stress does to you on a daily basis, as i have been eliminating it i see changes in so many other areas of my life. “my overall total self control seems stronger as a result”

Regrets hum we all have um but im trying to work on that as well.

I guess the two biggest regrets i have are i don’t spend enough time with my parents.

And the second one is i was in a relationship for 7 years, my heart, mind, & body, was not mine but only 51% mine, and i still to this day am rather confused over the whole thing, seems most couples when they break up go thru some sort of a “work it out phase”, where they yell scream cuss but, share the things that were bad, good and ugly, And grow in the relationship area of there life, Will i have had zero contact with Him, “his choice and i respect it” but i feel a need to mend something between us, he was my friend and lover, i missed the lover for a while, but now i miss the friend more and more each day, i hope we can find some common ground one day!

Well i been mushy long enough

go do something that makes someone else feel good about themselvs


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