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Dont let me die in the gay bar parking lot

OK so Last Saturday night i had a good meal, nothing to drink, 420 went out as soon as i got to the bar i got sorta blurry vision, and a tingly feeling in my left hand, i decide to go hit the yard get some air, when i got out side i felt a little panicky, “i have never had a panic attack ” but i stumble to the left, or it felt like i did……i was tight in the chest, short of breath, I’m praying to God not to let me die in the gay bar parking lot, just let me get to my car i pray, I was freaking out at this point! well i made it home, felt “odd” till i went to sleep. The next day was Easter Sunday, at lunch, one of my family ask me if i had partied the night before because i looked like crap….well i felt off my game for the next two days so i go my DR on Wed. and they hook me to the Heart monitor, get two reports, leave the room……come back hook me back up to the heart thing and then they leave the room, come back in, tell me something looks odd, and Give me nitro and aspirin, they then tell me they have to call 911 and load my ass into a meat wagon send me to the ER. They do just that! At the ER the hook me up to a machine, tell me i am having a heart attack, hook me to a nitro and a heparin drip, however the nurse forgets to hook me up to the heparin, there was a lot going on, then i have to sign a form about i may have a heart attack, stroke, or kidney damage, and then proceed to rush me to the catherazation lab, they run a thing up to my heart, look at it and tell me i have a healthy heart no blockage no sign of error and it looks great, but they end up telling me that i have a bi polarization abnormality…….and i would need to carry around a EKG example of my beat so i can avoid any future catherazations. Now i got to have 3 more big time test to take, gotta get a full diagnoses……. I do have my Cath on computer disk so i can see what the doctors saw its cool!

Ok so that laying in the hospital bed is not for me, i am working on a living will, and a will, and getting stuff sorted out, jeez tis ain’t no fun people, to think about your own death, i did this once before when i had cancer i was giving a 8 month window of life, now that was over 14 years ago, but the thought of just dropping dead in a parking lot is not a good way to go, and laying in a bed like a mindless blob is not my thought of life….

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