It’s Okay to Ride Solo

I left a version of this thought as a comment for a friend today. But as I was writing it, I realized there are probably a dozen or more people in my life who need to hear some version of it.

Maybe you do too.

It’s okay to ride solo for a while.

We’ve somehow been conditioned to believe that being alone means something is wrong. That if the phone isn’t ringing, the invitations aren’t coming, or the people who once occupied so much of our time have moved on, then we must have lost something.

Maybe we have.

But losing something and being lost are two entirely different things.

Sometimes the clearest path forward is the one you walk with only your own voice in your head.

There is something valuable about solitude. It strips away the applause, approval, expectations, opinions, and constant influence of everyone around you. When all of that noise gets quiet, eventually you begin to hear something you may not have heard clearly in a long time:

Yourself.

Learn to be alone without automatically believing that you are lonely.

Learn the sound of your own voice. Learn what you actually believe instead of what the people around you believe. Learn what makes you happy when nobody is there to see it. Learn what makes you uncomfortable. Learn to trust that little feeling that tells you something isn’t quite right.

Because when you know yourself, you begin to recognize when something—or someone—doesn’t fit.

You learn when to leave the room.

You learn when to walk away from a situation.

You learn the difference between a genuine compliment and empty words. You stop needing constant validation because your sense of worth no longer depends entirely on someone else supplying it.

That doesn’t mean we don’t need people. We do.

Friendship matters. Love matters. Family matters. Community matters. There is enormous value in having good people beside you.

But there is also enormous value in knowing that you can stand when nobody is standing beside you.

When you’re constantly surrounded by other people’s voices, opinions, expectations, and energy, it can become surprisingly difficult to tell where they end and you begin.

Solitude gives you an opportunity to find that boundary again.

There are stretches of this life that each of us has to walk alone. Sometimes people leave. Sometimes friendships change. Sometimes relationships end. Sometimes life simply sends two people who once traveled together down different roads.

That empty space can hurt.

But empty space is also where something new gets built.

So if you happen to be riding solo right now, don’t automatically mistake solitude for failure. Don’t assume that because somebody left your road, your road no longer leads anywhere.

Stay focused.

Keep moving.

Use the quiet.

Get to know the person who remains when everyone else has gone home.

Every one of us eventually has to walk a stretch of road alone. And sometimes those quiet miles are exactly where you discover who you are, what matters to you, and where you’re actually going.

You may come out the other side stronger, clearer, more comfortable in your own skin—and a whole lot more certain about who deserves to ride beside you on the next stretch of road. PWT :)>